Changes

I remember distinctly the day Gracen began walking. We had (falsely) assumed that we had parenting a baby/toddler down pretty well. She started walking and the rules changed--or at least shifted. We had to think differently. While our core values and beliefs about parenting haven't changed, the mode has. It reflects the age and stage that we are going through.

The shift is happening again. She's growing up. Honestly, I'm not sure I like it!! The commitment has long been made to enjoy each age/stage as it comes but sometimes it is tough. This week has been extraordinarily difficult. More than once, I have wondered just which way to go. Uncharacteristically, I have ended up crying (once in Hobby Lobby of all places!) simply because I am buffaloed by my child. She isn't trying to be difficult (for the most part). This is new to her too. She's as unsure about growing up as I am about letting her.

I needed some godly wisdom; I needed uplifting just a bit. After trying to reach my mom most of the day, I began to get worried that perhaps something had happened. It is unusual not be able to reach my parents or my sister. I called Nanny. We talked about picking and shelling peas, her sister who is ill, and the fact that she wishes we lived closer. Finally, I told her I'd let her get back to shelling those peas! I told her it had been a really tough week and I was going to work on my scrapbooks for a while (a good escape!). She told me to remember that they missed me and loved me and that love helps lots of things.

She was right. My concerns weren't gone, but it sure was nice to know that, in the midst of doubting myself and my abilities, she loved me.