There is a children's book that we read once or twice during our early home school years--The Very Last First Time. It is the story of a little girl who does something all by herself and she celebrates that it was the very last first time she would ever do that by herself.This picture was Gracen's very last first time to have her picture made with Santa as a 10 year old. Turns out it was (as of this writing as a girl always has the prerogative to change her mind) her very last time as well.
She declined the trip to the mall to have her picture made with Santa.
It could have been just the thought of going to the mall which is beyond crowded or, more likely, that it just doesn't feel right this year.
She's growing and changing. Her conversations are deeper and full of a humor that is a blend of her father and of me but distinctly her own. Those deep conversations come at the oddest times and are usually quick, reminding me that I should be always ready and appreciative.
Her hugs come quicker as she's often going to this activity or that. I'm learning to stop and be fully in the moment.
This stage of her life also reminds me that we always said we would strive to enjoy each and every stage. Some were and are hard. There have been some that were unpleasant. There have been some that, honestly, tugged at my heartstrings. During some, I felt incredibly alone, tired, and so very lacking.
But all of those stages have led to this one. It is difficult--emotions run the full range sometimes in a very short period of time. But there as joy. Joy watching her learn to be patient with others and with herself, to be an encourager, to be a better friend--watching her heart grow.
I'm often reminded of just how "in between" she is. We got news on Friday that my grandfather has cancer. As I watched tears roll down Gracen's cheeks, she was very much the little girl who knows Granddaddy as fun loving, jovial, and a constant in her visits to my parents. Yet, there was a very grown up quietness about her for much of the afternoon as she processed the news.
As Gracen grows and changes, hopefully, so do we as her parents. Hopefully, prayerfully we become better parents to her.
And, prayerfully, we remain thankful for this incredible journey.
3 comments:
and I'm reminded how blessed I am to journey with you and her through all this...
So sorry to hear about her grandfather. Dana, you are a very eloquent writer.
So sorry to hear of the illness in your family. You have been in my prayers of late.
I believe as parents, we grow and change as much as our children do. Each stage in their life bringing us to another level in our own. You are so right to stop and soak in the wonderful moments you have with Gracen. They grow too quickly.
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