Questions From The Parent Of A Pre-Teen

***Warning--this post deals with more pre-teen parenting.***

You know, more and more I'm realizing just how out of my parenting comfort zone I am.

I had training with the younger years. You want good children's books? I can rattle off a ton. Want to know how to help teach a toddler about quiet times? Got it. Want to know how to creatively teach a kid younger than about 8 math facts, history, etc? Give me a few minutes and I can probably come up with something.

Sure, parenting during those young children years was hard work but I felt pretty comfortable with that. It required a lot--staying one step ahead wasn't always easy.

Then, things shifted. My child became a pre-teen and, while I am incredibly thankful that most of the time she has a good head on her shoulders, I'm realizing that I simply don't have a clue.

For instance, I took her shopping the other day. Should be a fairly simple task.

Famous last words.

Let me preface this with saying that I have a love/hate relationship with Justice For Girls. Sometimes we luck up and find something that is agreeable. (The rule in our house is that if I don't approve of the clothing, it doesn't come home--no questions, no whining.)

I was looking around while Gracen was trying on a dress (which with the addition of a short jacket was approved) and saw this. I left wondering why it was necessary to have the addition of padding in bra marketed for girls ages 8-12 or so.

Little did I know that wondering why was about to become a way of life.

A few days later, a flyer came in the mail. Thank goodness Gracen didn't see it because she would have either been mortified or totally enamoured. You see, at this point in life, I don't even pretend to know have a guess at reactions--because I'm usually wrong!

The flyer contained a how to talk to your pre-teen girl about that fact of life which would befall her at some point in the near future guide. But that was just to pull you in. It was really an advertisement for the new pre-teen line of these.

Again, why? Of all the things in the pre-teen world on which cute graffiti might be "necessary", this is so not one of those things. And, I'll leave it at that.

These things are added to the general angst that exists in the world of 10-12 year old girls. It's enough to make a parent run for the hills.

Instead, I made a run to my "hasn't let me down yet" comfort zone--otherwise known as the nearest book store.

There are miles of books on babyhood, dealing with toddler temper tantrums, how to feed your picky child, how to educate your obviously more brilliant than the rest kid--and then the shelves are rather bare.

After about 10, there are no good books. Parenting doesn't stop at 10 but the books do (generally). This lead me to the conclusion that I'm not the only one who walks around with a blank stare!

In some ways, I would argue, that parenting during the "tween" years is harder and more lonely than having a toddler. Or, more accurately, it's a different kind of hard--one that most of us probably don't handle well.

Y'all, I remember what that age was like. I remember what I was like at that age. I remember the exasperation from my parents. I remember the hurtful things that we said to each other in the heat of pre-teen and teenage battles.

I want to do this stage of parenting well. I want to do it Biblically. I want to learn from it--not so that I can do it better next time because there won't be a next time--but so that we both come out of it with more wisdom and more grace.

So, along this sometimes rocky ride, with all of the stuff I don't understand and sometimes don't like, I'll choose to enjoy this stage. I'll be thankful that I'm getting the privilege to parent this kid that God loves even more than I do. I'll be thankful that, even as lonely as it often feels, I'm not in this alone. I'll be grateful that God redeems mistakes because sometimes I wish I could have a day long "do-over".

And, I'll even try to be thankful that I didn't find any books--otherwise I may put my trust somewhere else.

But, it would be nice to know I'm not alone!!